The Successful Dilettante
February 20, 2007 - Issue 16 - ISSN 1935-4886
Editor: Susan Henderson, coach@susanhenderson.com
Visit our website at: http://www.susanhenderson.com
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Contents
1) Greetings!/News - Growth
2) Susan's Musings - Know Thyself. A passionate recommendation for a book that will introduce you to a wiser, stronger, more courageous self.
3) Featured guest: Fiona Young-Brown - How did today's featured guest who was born and grew up in a small coastal resort town in England end up in Lexington, Kentucky? In true renaissance soul style, she has put together a great life for herself combining her many interests which includes life coaching for women and building a business from her love of candlemaking.
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Greetings!/News - Growth
I hope this finds you healthy, wealthy and wise - or at least on your own particular path to getting an abundant life that works for you. A warm welcome to both old and new subscribers alike.
As life is not static, changes and growth are happening in my life and my business life. I have recently added website design for those wishing a simple, clean and highly navigable site. I work with one excellent web-hosting company and their extremely easy to use software to design and build the site or tutor my clients in the process. Uploading changes takes mere seconds. You'll love it. Contact me if you are interested. They are listed on the Resources page of my website.
I have become clearer on my coaching niche: "creative multipreneurs" seems to describe it best. I am an avid entrepreneurial spirit myself and find I can best serve those who have freedom or independence listed in their top five values and who are moving towards starting their own business either full or part-time. I have room to add 3-5 one-on-one coaching clients and will soon be offering some group coaching programs that support this niche. I will also offer some information
products soon.
There is more, including a book, but I will tell all about that in a future issue or special mailing. Ooooh, what a tease!
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Susan's Musings - Know Thyself
With all this hoopla and worry about identity-theft and how to protect yourself, it came to me that no one can truly steal your "Identity". I am not downplaying the seriousness of the crime of stealing a person's credit cards, bank info, and so on. It can make your life a living hell and you should take steps to protect that information. I am referring to that whole thing that makes you, well... You. Absolutely nobody can steal that away from you.
But here's the rub - do you know who you truly are and what you are capable of accomplishing in your life? Are you living your best life? As the wonder of serendipity (I love that word) would have it, just when I was pondering the question of identity and what that really means, my friend and fellow coach, Lyle Lachmuth (featured guest in issue 10), highly recommended a book to me that has had a huge impact in introducing me to, well... Me.
The Identity Code: The 8 Essential Questions for Finding Your Purpose and Place in the World by Larry Ackerman is that book. With over 20 years of experience in helping organizations and individuals identify their purpose, the author discovered the Laws of Identity and the 8 Essential Questions that will help you crack your own identity code.
But beware, Ackerman starts out by blowing the myth of personal freedom--that you can be whatever you want to be in life--clean out of the water. What?! But we've always been told and believed we could be anything we wanted to be if we would just choose, work hard, apply ourselves and so on. This is what he has to say:
"The myth of personal freedom--the idea that you are at liberty to pick whatever path in life you want--is the unspoken agony of the modern person. It ignores the fact that life has order, and that order bears heavily upon your choices--on what makes sense to do with the time you have. The good news is that although you can't be anything you want to be, you have more potential than you now."
He goes on to say that this life order is in our identity code which, much like our biological or genetic code, is born into each of us providing a complete and unique map of how we are designed to function. This is not fatalism and we are not destined for our lives to turn out a certain way no matter what we do. It is the opposite. We can obtain genuine freedom in knowing who we are and what our potential is so that we may act on this knowledge to create truly authentic, happy lives for ourselves.
This book takes you through the Identity Mapping process which is a series of exercises to help you answer the eight questions:
Who am I?
What makes me special?
Is there a pattern to my life?
Where am I going?
What is my gift?
Who can I trust?
What is my message?
Will my life be rich?
Just imagine the rich life that could unfold for you in discovering the answers to these eight questions. Enjoy the journey.
"I am what I am and that's all that I am." -- Popeye
Hugs,
Susan
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Featured Guest: Fiona Young-Brown
How did today's featured guest who was born and grew up in a small coastal resort town in England end up in Lexington, Kentucky? After spending the summer in the Bavarian Alps before entering university, she knew she wanted to expand her horizons and see more of the world. In her junior year of college she landed in the the United States in Iowa. After graduation, she was off to Japan to teach school for three years. It was there that she met her future husband who, you guessed it, is from Kentucky. Fiona's graduate school research on infertility was strongly influenced by her own experiences and have led to her present coaching and counseling of women living with that issue and building a great life for themselves. In true renaissance soul style, she has put together a great life for herself combining her many interests which includes building a business from her love of candlemaking. Read on to see how she has built the life she has today.
SH: Fiona, how have you come to live the life you enjoy today?
FYB: It actually took a long time for me to reach the point where I could tell myself that I was happy and didn’t need to fit myself into anyone else’s mold. As a child, I excelled at school but was painfully shy.
When it came to choosing a college, there were so many fabulous course options and I was fortunate enough to have a teacher who advised me that college is four years when you can study what you enjoy. Despite that, I was still very much part of the mindset where I believed once college was over, I would have to choose one 9-5 office career. I was never sure what that career would be and my college careers service pushed me towards accounting.
I remember going for several job interviews and finally had one which at the time I thought was the most horrendous experience, but in looking back, it was so valuable. It was to be an accounting trainee in a large steelworks. It was everything I believed a job was supposed to be: well paid, respectable, good advancement prospects, etc. Halfway through the interview, the woman stopped me and said, “I can offer you this job right now, but why are you here? Your soul will slowly die if you do this.” I couldn’t believe that anyone would tell me that in an interview, but I never went for another corporate interview again. Instead, upon graduation, I went to Japan and taught English for three years.
SH: It sounds like that interviewer did you a huge favor. When did you realize that you would be happiest doing a multitude of things?
FYB: From Japan, I went to grad school in Iowa, having been accepted into a brand new PhD. program. Again, I excelled academically and loved the fact that my degree program was very interdisciplinary, allowing me to pick and choose from different areas and bring them together into something new. As time went on though and I had to narrow my academic focus further for my dissertation and I began to feel very restricted. The recurring depression that I had suffered from since my teens came back and I lost all interest in my studies.
This coincided with my marriage and move to Kentucky. The distance allowed me the freedom to pursue other interests. Eventually I chose not to finish my dissertation. I was offered a job teaching at a local university and was allowed to design my own courses.
At the same time, I was doing some freelance writing and developed my candlemaking hobby into a weekend craftshow business. For the next few years, I continued to teach, write and make candles, but I always felt as if I was a letdown and that I should be looking for a “proper” job, yet I knew that within a few months of sitting in an office I’d be desperate to move on to something else.
Ironically, I think my husband realized long before I did that I would be happier doing my own thing. Finally, my teaching contract was due to expire and I needed to look for something else. I liked teaching but felt as if it didn’t allow me enough of a challenge. I found myself interacting more with my students outside the classroom in a mentor capacity.
Then I heard about life coaching and instantly knew that was for me. I picked up a copy of Margaret Lobenstine’s book “The Renaissance Soul” and I really think that was a turning point. Even though friends had told me they envied the freedom I gave myself within my career, I always felt as if I was just bumbling along, wasting my education. Margaret’s book was the first time I encountered so many other people who felt as I did.
SH: How have you balanced your multiple interests into a meaningful career?
FYB: I suppose the easiest answer is, “I didn’t.” I stopped trying to find one career that would suit all of my interests and needs. That helped immensely. I’ve been lucky to find some great opportunities. I took a part-time job with a nonprofit to help provide a steady income while I pursued other things. I left that job a few months ago but continue to work with them as a freelance consultant, so even something that I saw as a temporary source of support has provided me with some wonderful new contacts and friends.
SH: How do you manage your time? Do you make a plan?
FYB: One of the joys of working for myself is the freedom it grants me with my time. Regular office hours do not work for me. If I want to go grocery shopping one afternoon or meet a friend for coffee, I do it. I am lucky that my work is so flexible.
I love making my candles, but my workshop has no heat. Fortunately, my busiest candle times are spring and fall, plus the runup to Christmas.
My coaching clients mostly work fulltime and so we often schedule our sessions either early morning or in the evening, and I schedule my fertility support coaching groups for the evening. That leaves my days free.
I have a contract as a freelance researcher for a real estate company which involves a lot of driving around the state so I usually do that three days a week. Since driving every week gets tiring, I’ll follow that schedule three weeks of every month and then have one week where I work exclusively from home: writing, consulting for the nonprofit and so on.
I really do give myself a lot of freedom to do what I’m in the mood for. I might spend one day just getting caught up on laundry and playing with my dogs, but then perhaps on a rainy Saturday afternoon I’ll do some computer work. The people I work for and with know that I will get the job done and get it done well, so they are not worried if I keep regular office hours.
SH: Have you had any mentors, books or people who have influenced you?
FYB: Other than Margaret Lobenstine’s book, I’ve also been lucky to have a lot of personal support. My husband has always been very encouraging so I’ve never felt pressured within the household.
My friends and family are also very supportive, even if my mother sometimes has to ask, “So what exactly is it that you do now?”
The coaching community is, by its own nature, a very supportive one and I’ve found some wonderful mentors there.
SH: What advice or tips would you share with our readers?
FYB: I see so many people who find themselves trapped in jobs they dislike and that is so disheartening that I really encourage people to try to find ways to include their dreams in their everyday life.
My husband likes his job but admits it was not what he dreamed he’d be doing. He has always wanted to write. Since he is not in a position to make that a fulltime career at this stage in his life, he has created a website where he reviews movies (his first love). Also, he signed up for the National Novel Writing Month last November and although he didn’t complete the specified number of words within the time limit, he is continuing to work on his novel which he finds a relaxing break from the stresses of work, and hopes to use his contacts in the publishing world to one day see it in print. Will it lead to him one day becoming a full-time writer? Who knows, but to do something he always wanted to do has given him a wonderful boost of confidence.
The motto that I try to live by is to not have any regrets. Although our dreams may not always be practical, I think we can all find ways to adapt them to our lives. One of the most inspirational and educational jobs I ever had was a summer of interviewing residents of retirement homes about their lives. They all spoke of regrets and of the importance of not letting life pass you by. I think we can all learn something from that.
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Fiona Young-Brown lives in Lexington, Kentucky with her husband and two dogs. She is a life coach for women struggling with fertility issues as well as women who are wishing to develop their dreams. To receive her monthly Fertility News with tips, advice and inspiration to help reach positive outcomes, sign up at http://www.fionayoungbrown.com. Visit her blog: http://fionascoachingblog.blogspot.com
Visit www.kentishmaidcandles.com to learn about and buy her wonderful candles. There are 61 scents to choose from and if you don't see the one you are looking for, she may be able to find it for you.
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If you would like to learn more about if and how Susan Henderson Coaching might be able to help you achieve your desired results, please contact me to set up a time to talk. We will start with a complimentary phone conversation where I can learn more about you, your current situation and goals. I will be happy to answer any questions you may have about me, how I work with clients, and the coaching process. If we both feel the coaching relationship is a good fit, we will move on from there.
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